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darthmoonmoon:

kaguramutsuki:

please watch this this video made me into who i am today

It is 1:30 and I am hollering laughing.

(Source: discriminateagainstnerds, via lesleygee)

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My (glowing) review of Teju Cole’s Every Day is for the Thief is up over at Africa in Words. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “How is Open City like a Pinterest board?’ this one is for you.

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1. What do they do in the Candor training montages? Just blurt out secrets and insult each other until someone cries and drops out?

2.Which faction is in charge of driving the El train?

Tags: divergent
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Air marshal::Something’s going wrong on this flight, I don’t know if it’s a highjacking or —

Ground control: WHAT’S THAT YOU SAY, BILL? YOU SAY YOU’VE HIJACKED THE PLANE?

Air marshal: No, I said, someone else is trying to hijack—

Ground control: STOP HIJACKING THE PLANE, BILL!

Air marshal: What? No, I’m not—

Ground control: BILL, BILL, LISTEN TO ME, BILL STOP HIJACKING THE PLANE!

Air marshal: No, I don’t understand, how can I be any clearer? I’m not—

Ground control: WHAT DO YOU WANT? IS IT MONEY? MONEY IS WHAT YOU WANT?

Air marshal: No! I don’t want any money! I just want you to help me stop the hija—

Ground control: BILL. WE’VE FILLED YOUR ACCOUNT WITH $150 MILLION DOLLARS. TAKE IT. TAKE IT ALL. JUST PLEASE, THINK OF THE CHILDREN AND STOP HIJACKING THE PLANE.

Air marshal: I’m just going to kill this hijacker,is that okay with you?

Ground control:  BILL, BILL, ARE YOU DRUNK RIGHT NOW, BILL? IS THAT WHY YOU’RE HIJACKING THE PLANE? IS THAT IT? BILL?

(Hijacker killed. Everyone is saved.)

Ground control: Bill, please don’t steal all the money I accidentally gave to you when I thought you were a hijacker, okay, Bill? Bill? Bill?

Air marshal: Fine. 

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Like a million years ago, when I was bored, I started a Tumblr that was basically, ‘Fuck Yeah Hot But Underappreciated Actor,” posted a bunch of pictures to it in a single evening, and then forgot about it. That was over a year ago and I haven’t touched it since. Recently, it caught on somehow. Currently it has 245 followers and is averaging about 5 new ones a day. I think when it hits 500 I’m going to start updating it again. In between photos of the Hot Actor, every once in a while I’m going to include an Amazon link to it under the headline, “Hey! Did you know that this is Hot Actor’s favorite book?!” and then that gravy train all the way to self-publishing millions. Synergy! 

(No I will not tell you who the actor is, you will just have to wait and see.)

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lesleygee:

the fact that lots of people have the same dreams blows my mind. like, i knew the common ones were common - like being naked at school - which could possibly be explained by the fact that such dreams are frequently represented. but i have this recurring dream/nightmare/anxiety dream that im driving and im trying to brake but the brakes dont work or i can barely reach them, so i have to try to ou navigate around obstacles at a high speed. and apparently lots of people have this dream. what a world.

Do you have dreams where you’re trying to read, and you need to read in order to fill out some important form or something, but the words keep blurring before your eyes and the harder you try, the less you can make sense of it all???

Not-being-able-to-read dreams are my worst dreams. I wonder if anyone else has them.

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Yeah but when do you think was the last time Beyonce did her own laundry?

Yeah but when do you think was the last time Beyonce did her own laundry?

(via ellahitzgerald)

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lesleygee:

some days there’s just a feeling in your chest and stomach and throat that you really need some validation and/or a big hug

I VALIDATE YOU.

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TEAM GALE

TEAM PEETA

TEAM LOVE IS ONLY A DISTRACTION FROM THE BRUTAL REALITY OF YOUR ECONOMIC EXPLOITATION

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Self-evaluation

shitmystudentswrite:

As far as my performance went, I think I did really well, but also I really fucked it up.

Amen, child. This is my grad school epitaph.